Dear AT&T,
I wish all evils upon you. I don't know which one of your employees continues to drop the ball but in the last 10 months our Internet has been "accidentally" shut off three times. The whole process of you taking our money and keeping us connected should be easy enough. I've been without Internet since Thursday due to an unidentifiable BOO BOO on your end. Blah.
Dear Tailgaters,
I never, I repeat never speed up when you ride my booty. I suggest you cut your losses and bug someone else or you'll enjoy the same fate as the mustang I encountered on Tuesday. Mr. Mustang decided to tailgate and honk at me for going the legal speed limit. He didn't realize we were about to drive along one of the longest one lane on ramps in Los Angeles. Mr. Mustang, did you enjoy driving 15mph in a 45mph zone? Did it bother you when you finally were able to pull around me and I presented you with a smile and double peace signs rather than the expected middle finger?
Dear Guy from my 7-11 parking lot collision,
I believe we are equally at fault for our 5mph love tap. I can't believe you wanted to exchange information when no damages had occurred and your car is clearly a 1980's reject that looked like it had escaped from a trash compactor. I told him I would give him my information only because it is the law and if he tired to pull something fishy I'd lawyer up and sing like Canary to prove my innocence. He looked at me confused and maybe even a little frighten. He was silent for 30 seconds too long so I jokingly offered that I buy us both Slurplees and we could just continue on our marry ways. He told me I was a trip and picked the Slurpee. Once inside we oddly had a moment of friendship where we discussed how cherry is the only flavor and mixing other flavors is risky business. Jessica problems...
Dear Readers,
I've been invited to participate in a Flash Mob! Should I do it? Would you do it? I'm nervous that I'll be the reject that is moving to the left when everyone is moving to the right.
Dear Weekend,
You rocked my socks off and I promise to write about you later.
I wish all evils upon you. I don't know which one of your employees continues to drop the ball but in the last 10 months our Internet has been "accidentally" shut off three times. The whole process of you taking our money and keeping us connected should be easy enough. I've been without Internet since Thursday due to an unidentifiable BOO BOO on your end. Blah.
Dear Tailgaters,
I never, I repeat never speed up when you ride my booty. I suggest you cut your losses and bug someone else or you'll enjoy the same fate as the mustang I encountered on Tuesday. Mr. Mustang decided to tailgate and honk at me for going the legal speed limit. He didn't realize we were about to drive along one of the longest one lane on ramps in Los Angeles. Mr. Mustang, did you enjoy driving 15mph in a 45mph zone? Did it bother you when you finally were able to pull around me and I presented you with a smile and double peace signs rather than the expected middle finger?
Dear Guy from my 7-11 parking lot collision,
I believe we are equally at fault for our 5mph love tap. I can't believe you wanted to exchange information when no damages had occurred and your car is clearly a 1980's reject that looked like it had escaped from a trash compactor. I told him I would give him my information only because it is the law and if he tired to pull something fishy I'd lawyer up and sing like Canary to prove my innocence. He looked at me confused and maybe even a little frighten. He was silent for 30 seconds too long so I jokingly offered that I buy us both Slurplees and we could just continue on our marry ways. He told me I was a trip and picked the Slurpee. Once inside we oddly had a moment of friendship where we discussed how cherry is the only flavor and mixing other flavors is risky business. Jessica problems...
Dear Readers,
I've been invited to participate in a Flash Mob! Should I do it? Would you do it? I'm nervous that I'll be the reject that is moving to the left when everyone is moving to the right.
Dear Weekend,
You rocked my socks off and I promise to write about you later.
Totally do it!! Flash mobs are amazing!
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to do a flash mob! Do it! The 7 11 guy seems okay now?. And I hate tailgaters. Especially those who pass you then go the same speed you are! So annoying!
ReplyDeleteI will be dancing in the Flash Mob! Ekkk!
ReplyDelete