Monday, November 28, 2011

Beware of the 105 freeway

I got this text from my distressed older brother “I almost died! Some weirdo on the 105 freeway was driving next to me and almost rammed me 5 times! We finally pulled over so he would stop and THEN so I couldn't leave he blocked the slow and emergency lane to yell at me that he was the speed enforcer, there to enforce the speed laws. Now I know why I don’t come to LA!" (I don't write fiction, this is very true, Girl scouts honor)

He had already boarded his flight by the time I was available to respond. Bummer!!! I don’t like cliff hangers. I spent the next couple hours trying to understand the offender’s intent.

..... Brainstorming….

Was he trying to perform a citizen’s arrest? ( My brother is usually running late which would lead me to believe he was indeed speeding)
Is he a suicide car bomber?
Is he bat shit crazy?

I finally get an update saying “He was weird, I don’t know what he was trying to do. One minute he was yelling at me, the next directing traffic, and then calmly asking me about the car I drove. Multiple personalities I guess!”

It was one of those instances where you shouldn’t laugh because a Schizophrenic almost killed your brother but something this bizarre is permitted one outburst of laughter. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I told him if I was there I would have opened up my suitcase and strangled the guy with my  hair blow dryer cord.

Lesson kids: Don’t speed on 105, there’s a speed enforcing looney on the loose!

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