Monday, February 6, 2012

You look so sophisticated

My biggest fear: vomiting. True story, I'd rather let a family of creepy crawlers march across my body than feel like Emily Rose is dancing in my throat.

On Friday night I decided to have a few, many, maybe a dozen (but who's counting) tasty Daiquiris. Not a bad way to start your weekend if you don't have an 8:00 AM flight. When the plane's engines fired up they woke up all the sleeping butterflies in my belly. I kept myself together and thought that after a quick trip to the restroom I was in the clear. As soon as Vanessa and I got on the escalator to the tram we saw a 20x20 foot Patron Advertisement and she proceeded to talk about strong shots and the time these guys offered to buy us shots and told us we looked so sophisticated.

[Quick side story]

Shots man: Hey ladies you all look so sophisticated so I thought I'd come over.
Me: Thanks.
Shots man: What do you do?
Me: I'm student, you?
Shots man: I'm in law
Me: Really? My brother just took his LSAT, where did you go to law school?
Shots man gives a me panicked look and attempts to change the subject.
Bitchy me: Are you a lawyer?
Shots man: No, not exactly.
Bitchy me: Are you a paralegal?
Shots man: No, ummm...
Bitchy me: A secretary?
Shots man: Ehh, aaahh

If you're going to be a lying liar, perfect your lie.

Back to the escalator... I'm not responding and Vanessa is still talking. She finally sees the panic in my eyes and realizes what's to come. Alas, there is no bathroom in sight. So in front of all my fellow passengers, I created a pink massacre all over the floor and myself. At this point I decided my pitiful self had nothing left to lose; I held my head high and told Vanessa "It's going to be ok, it's time to go shopping" I threw the clothes I was wearing in a trash can and wandered the strip in my PJ's.

Moral of the story: life is unpredictable and embarrassing things are bound to happen. You can do one of two things: knowingly walk yourself into these situations (stupid shots man) or quickly accept your unfortunate situation and move on.

[Last quick side not]
To all my known readers and unknown blog stalkers, this site is nothing more than a electronic journal. I've been asked a lot lately about my plans for it and I have none. I'm growing and changing so quickly that it just makes sense to me to document my feelings and experiences during this wild metamorphosis.
Goodnight.


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