Monday, August 29, 2011

Two stories of why stupid people shouldn’t reproduce:

Story 1:
Today as I was leaving the Americana and navigating my way to the parking structure I was approached by two Armenian teenagers. No big deal except I felt these boys had been watching me walk for some time.   The taller, less awkward one asked me something in Armenian (and as an aside, everyone in LA seems to think I am Armenian). As I was attempting to alert him I had no clue what he was saying, I noticed his friend had some wadded up cash in his hand. It all clicked into place for me; they must want me to buy them alcohol. He switched to English, “Ahh, well, you’re young, and there aren’t any other young people around and I thought you’d understand.” I stopped him short “No, I’m not buying you booze.” Me, illegal activity… no, never. J He then replied “No, no, we want you to buy us condoms.” I about died and felt incredibly embarrassed for them and myself. It was time to break news, I cleared my throat, tucked the laughter away and replied, “Maybe you aren’t aware but you don’t have to be of any certain age to purchase condoms.” On the plus side, at least they were trying to avoid reproducing.
Story 2 tied to a weekend update:
In one of my classes my teacher offered an extra credit assignment that entailed either working in the community or with a charity involving the homeless. The girl sitting next to me let out a big gasp followed by a stream of deep breaths. She turned to and said “I have to have these points but I can’t work with those kinds of people. No, no, I’m from Yorba Linda, the land of gracious living!” I began to laugh because what I thought was an asthma attack was her reaction to the homeless. She tilted her head in confusion and looked at me as if I was the odd one. Sweetheart, you’re the least gracious in all the land and you’re fortunate to be pretty. This Sunday as I was making my way to Yorba Linda I passed their welcome sign and couldn’t help but have a laugh at that bimbo’s expense. Enough about her… I was ecstatic to be back in Orange County and celebrating the fourth birthday of my best friend’s son. He is such a character and on any given day you can catch him saying things like, “Hey what are you doing later, wanna kick it?” I had such a great time drinking, eating, and swimming with my favorite people!

Lastly, in an effort to understand one of Matt’s more fervent obsessions, I have joined a fantasy football league. I’m going to be matching wits with some old grade school friends. My draft was last night, and I enlisted the help of my self-proclaimed guru of a boyfriend and Honey Hunnel for the opening rounds, but then later picked guys based on the uniqueness of their name. It went surprisingly well - both Matt and his friend Kevin believe I have one of the three best teams in the league! I hope these boys are ready for the Petite Powerhouse!

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